A Brutal Christmas
WARNING: MATURE CONTENT A Brutal Cristmas It was Christmas Eve, Badass Claus had just left the North Pole with his sled. Sitting beside him was the demon Krampus. Badass Claus: '''Listen, goat, I will let you deliver the presents to the children this Christmas, because I have a commitment that cannot be postponed. If you do some shit, I'll stick a candy cane in your ass, got it? '''Krampus: '''Relax, old man, when did I let you down? '''Badass Claus: '''There was that time I asked you to deliver a teddy bear and you delivered '''A REAL BEAR. Now shut up and take me to that nightclub full of naughty boys. And hand me my rocket launcher and my AK-47. SOME TIME LATER Krampus: '''Looks like we're here, old man. Goodbye. '''Badass Claus: '''Remember what I said in the sled, you piece of shit! Badass Claus tries to enter the nightclub but is stopped by a security guard. '''Security Guard: Hey Santa, your name is not on the guest list. Badass Claus: '''But your name is... '''On my list of naughty boys! Security Guard: '''Is this some kind of jo-- Before the security guard finishes his sentence, Badass Claus pulls out his AK-47 and shoots him in the head. Shortly thereafter, he crosses the corridor and arrives at the VIP Area. Badass Claus walks among several stripper dancing pole dance, until he stops in front of a chair with a fat man sitting on it. '''Badass Claus: '''I finally found you, Robert Hellington. '''Robert: Who are you, idiot dressed as Santa Claus? Badass Claus: 'I'm the same idiot you burned 34 years ago. When I entered into the chimney to deliver gifts to your younger brother and got stuck when I tried to leave. You saw me, put wood in the fireplace, covered it with gasoline, and then threw a lighter. I see you hasn't changed much... Drug dealer? '''Robert: '''How do you know that? '''Badass Claus: '''I told you, fagot, I'm the fucking Santa. After that, Robert snaps his fingers and five armed men appear and start shooting Santa Claus. '''Robert: '''Let's see if Father Cristmas is bulletproof. '''BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! ' Badass Claus just got scratched. Shortly after, he pulls out his missile launcher. '''Badass Claus: '''My turn. Let's see if your henchmen are missile proof. '''BOOM! With just one shot, Robert's henchmen are reduced to charred corpses, along with their boss. This also starts a fire in the night club. Which ends up killing several other criminals and prostitutes. Badass Claus came out of the burning club without a single scratch or burn, he takes his phone out of his pocket... Badass Claus: '''Goat? You can pick me up, I still have a lot of work tonight... Still that night, Badass Claus paid a visit to the Italian and Russian mafia, the Yakuza, Klu Klux Klan, Neonazis, The members of the Islamic State, and many others... '''NEXT MORNING, AT SANTA'S WORKSHOP... Badass Claus was sitting in his chair watching the news through the computer, the news was: Mass slaughter of criminals around the world. Badass Claus: '''I should do this again next year. '''THE END.